Stressy situations happen to all of us, and some of us are more relaxed than others about them. Some take a deep breath (like the double-inhale, one time exhale ;)), which creates an immediate relief that there is no danger. Others get so enraged and worked up that they can’t remember to pay attention to even properly breathe.
I want to share with you the youtube clip below, where Andrew Huberman (Stanford) is interviewing Peter Attia who has extreme rage issues and after 47 years he manages it to control it by changing his self-talk (which was as violent as his temper).
His therapist recommended that each time he would have a breakdown because he wasn’t doing something exactly as he wanted it, he would stop the self-talk and pretend the person making the mistake was his best friend. Then say out out loud what he would say to him instead (and record that). Afterwards, he had to transcribe that audio message into a text message and send it to his therapist.
The result: Four months later, he was out of the woods.